To the Cycle Breakers on Father's Day

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Welcome to the Relationship Alchemy

podcast, where you come to activate

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the remembrance of who you really are.

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Transmute the lead of everyday

relationships into the gold of deep

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connection and true, sovereign intimacy.

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I'm your host, Jodi, Master Relationship

Alchemist, here to empower you

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with higher truths, ancient wisdom,

and practical tools, blending

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both the art and science of love,

communication, and personal growth.

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Whether you're single, seeking

profound soul connection, evolving

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into a power couple, or looking to

harmonize your family, this podcast

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is your sanctuary to help you create

a legacy of love and deep fulfillment.

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Get ready to discover the

relationship alchemist in you.

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I wanted to talk to you today about

the hidden energies running through

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our collective systems on Father's

Day and how to shift us out of this

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collective damage that has been done,

not just by the men and masculine

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leaders in our lives, but how we as

women have contributed and society has

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contributed, and it may surprise you.

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Father's Day is hard for.

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Many of us who grew up in households

without a father, no matter how

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old we get, some were taken by

fate of death, others fell by

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their own hands and free will.

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There are 18 to 19 million children

in the US reported to live in

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households without a father.

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That's nearly one in four children.

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Which are staggering numbers to me,

and yet sadly not surprising, and

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we all need to grow out of this.

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So after my kids' dad died, I made

a vow that they would not become

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a sad statistic of a fatherless

home due to my own ignorance and.

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My own suffering.

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That didn't mean that I become

a man and push like they do.

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It didn't mean I could take over that

part, but I actually could when I

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come into right relationship with me.

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And that doesn't mean

that things will be easy.

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It means that I had to rise, I

had to lead, I had to unlearn the

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patterns that have been pulsing

through me and my system, my

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nervous system since I was a child.

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Patterns of men who were unstable,

of women who held it together while

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the men they chose came undone.

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and here's the harsh truth.

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When a mother is unsupported, unprotected,

the child absorbs the fallout, not.

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Always in words, not always in

tears, but in their nervous system,

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in their sense of self, in their

hidden belief about what love costs.

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When a man walks away, either

emotionally, mentally, financially,

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spiritually, all of it.

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It doesn't just break

the bond with the mother.

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It doesn't just break her heart.

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It shatters the foundation

of the child's reality.

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And the mother may carry the load, but it

is the child who carries the consequences.

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They start to wonder if love

is earned through struggle.

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If safety means that they should be

silent, if absence is just normal

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and if their needs are just too much,

they get the message that the feminine

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must be overtaxed to be worthy and

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love equals pain.

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And this is how, this is

how the cycle continues.

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Not because mothers fail, but because

we are forced to do it all while

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grieving, protecting and holding everyone

through the fire now let it be known.

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A father's absence is never neutral.

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It echoes.

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And when he abandons the mother, whether

literally or by default, as he takes his

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downward spiral in the home, he doesn't

just walk away from her, he walks away

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from the mirror of his own legacy.

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And let me be clear also, this

vow didn't just begin with

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my children's father's death.

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It goes much deeper because it

didn't begin with with us it.

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This is collective, this is ancestral.

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This is generational grief

that's unprocessed and hidden.

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And most men who fall do so

because they're still hypnotized

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by the example shown to them too.

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But leadership requires not

on my fucking watch energy.

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My grandfathers, they worked hard

and provided for a period of time,

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but they didn't feel they provided.

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I.

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Until they didn't, until addiction,

avoidance or illness took more than they

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gave, but they didn't do the deep work.

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They didn't know what We now know

what we now have available to us,

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and my grandmothers didn't either.

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A third of my grandfather's income

disappeared into bottles addictions

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and medical bills that they wouldn't

have had if they knew how to feel

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and how to express and how to lead.

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And that isn't a blame to them.

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That is.

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That just is.

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And the women had to handle it for them.

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They carried the weight,

they swept it under the rug.

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They went to church

and let it out quietly.

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Then they came home to be strong again.

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And again and again.

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And the strangest, craziest part is

we were taught to feel sorry for them.

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Taught to protect them, to protect

their reputation, taught to call them,

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to excuse them, to bend our boundaries.

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In the name of respect, even when

they gave us none, and even when

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they gave none to themselves.

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He's still your father.

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He's doing the best he can.

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You just, you should just let it go.

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But no one was ever saying, because

they didn't know then that being a

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father is a responsibility, not a right.

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No one said you don't have

to betray yourself in order

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to preserve their illusion.

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No one understood the collateral damage

of enabling a man's lack of devotion and

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feeling sorry for the fall guy himself.

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And there's been a programming passed

down through women to over function,

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overcompensate, over forgive, to

grieve men who never fully show up

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while still teaching our children

to honor them and honor their name.

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But as I say to myself all the time, to

my children, to my clients, when we're

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breaking a habit of being our old selves.

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We're not doing that anymore.

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I refuse to raise my children and

grandchildren inside of hidden

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Lies and leadership weakness.

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And over this last year, I've witnessed

my children wrestle with their own

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grief torn between the man that they

loved and the man that he became

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unrecognizable as if he died too.

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And of course it cracked me wide

open, yet another layer inside of me.

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You know how people say

peel back the onion?

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There's always another layer.

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I don't use that analogy

because where are we ever going?

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We're getting nowhere with that.

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So I use the artichoke.

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We peel back one leaf at a time,

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pulling it through our teeth to get

the full message, the full morsel and

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lessons of each bite until we get to

the center, the heart of the matter,

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and the prize of the meat inside,

the full substance of the fruit.

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And until we get to that center, we

will remain in what some call the void.

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And of course, I have

another name for that too.

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I call it The womb room.

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The womb room.

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This is where we go to rebirth, to

gather the wisdom, to hone our evolution

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and uncover new birthing codes.

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This is where we alchemize

turning shit into literal gold.

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It's where the middle is messy,

and we learn to listen to embody

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the wholeness of who we are.

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And when we've gathered all the

seeds, it's time to plant them.

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And once they've germinated and grown,

it's now time to share our harvest.

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And this is where the real magic lies.

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This is where all the fire we

have walked through is rewarded.

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This is where it's time to use our voice

and share the value and wisdom that we

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have gathered in the womb of creation.

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And that my friends requires us to

use our voice for the greater good.

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To share ourselves with a man who

has met himself in his own trenches.

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You guys never trust a man who claims

to have been been a victim to a woman.

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We're not doing that anymore.

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This womb room that I've been in over

the last 10 months or so has been

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one of the most brutal ones of my

entire life On every single level.

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The destruction unhealed

man can cause is few tile.

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Unless we uncover the deeper

hidden truths behind it all.

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So one of the things I had to do to

help my kids navigate their loss is

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to reconnect with my own inner child.

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I asked myself,

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what did my little self need to hear?

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What was missing from our consciousness

back then that we can now see?

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What did I need modeled?

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To stop carrying the burden for the

men who couldn't carry their own.

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And it takes both grace and

accountability, but there's a fine

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line between grace and accountability.

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Weak men continue to demand grace, but

lack accountability for themselves or

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even the capacity to take it from us.

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And honestly, it hasn't been

a lack of accountability.

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It's been a surplus of

overprotection for the wounded ban.

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I say this with the utmost love for

men because I've walked through the

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fucking fire to lead myself, and if I can

walk through the fires that I've lived

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through, there's no excuse for a man not

being a man with masculine integrity,

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strength, and wholehearted embodied love.

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I believe that every woman

before me, every woman before

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us, did the best that she could.

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But now it is time.

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We all do different.

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It takes a little bit of fuck

you and fuck off and a lot of bit

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of you don't get access to me.

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And that's where we begin to draw the

lines in the sand and stop enabling the

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victim who wants to stay there and die.

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And that includes the

one inside of us too.

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We don't do this work and speak

truth because we despise men

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and are better off without them.

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No, we are not.

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We do it because we love them too

much to pretend their ways are okay.

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And that requires both of us

taking radical responsibility

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to be our best selves.

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We must love ourselves

too much to stay silent.

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We must love our children too much to

pass it down, and we must stand in soul.

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Deep love that doesn't abandon numb

or vanish when the shit gets hard.

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Leaders never quit in the valley.

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It is only after the rise

that clarity speaks truth.

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This ends with us, but it

also means it begins with us.

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We are the cycle breakers, the pattern

interrupters, the rebels with a cause and

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a heart that refuses to shut down, not out

of anger, but out of legacy, out of love.

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That's finally telling the whole

truth as witnessed, not in words,

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but in our, in our actions.

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And I wanna also place a big shout

out into the collective field to the

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fathers who understand the assignment.

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We thank you for lighting the

way we need you at your finest.

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We need you to continue to light the way

I know how hard it can be, but we truly

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cannot break these historical chains

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without your grounded physical

strength and presence, we love you.

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We honor your character.

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We treasure your lead.

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Because I'm gonna tell you, men

have historically carried heavier

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wounds than women have carried.

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It's not a comparison at all because

ours are deeper, but when a man doesn't

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hold, he passes it on to the women.

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And this is why our

burden has felt so much.

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This is why women have

had to carry the weight.

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But what's great about men carrying

the weight is sometimes all it takes is

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allowing someone to help you, someone

like me, help you remove those bags.

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Because those bags that you carry,

that you see as a badge of honor

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are actually a generational curse.

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We're not doing that.

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Not on my watch.

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Hey, hey, I hope you enjoyed

today's transmission.

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Hop on into the show notes for

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we can work one on one together.

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Until next time, much love.